Why We All Need Creative Hype Women: The Creative Woman Diaries
Article Published for The Vital Creative Collection — Written by Casey Balon
Photo by Julia Peretiatko
Creative Hype Women Diaries - Part 1
I’ve always understood the power of a well-made cauliflower pizza crust. That first bite holds the potential to direct the course of an entire evening.
It was a cool Saturday evening in January, and we were, rather passionately, dipping our slices in Thirteen Pies’ signature truffle oil. With a menu of options named after horror films, the somewhat peculiar pizzeria had become a must-stop location for our biannual get-together.
As the night progressed, I pinpointed something even more vital than the caliber of my pizza crust – in real time, I was reminded how our relational support systems (aka who we surround ourselves with) can be one of our most significant Creative Assets.
My body was buzzing – but not in the over-caffeinated, dysregulated type of way. It was the kind of buzz that gently pulsed from cell to cell. The tingles of delight seemed to mix with anticipation as an undertone of appreciation entered the room.
I felt vital. Awake. Alive. If someone would have invited me to name my experience in that moment, I would have (without skipping a beat) called it overflow. My eyes were open. My breath was calm.
My presence rested on the beat of the conversation I was sharing with the three other women at our table. When I snuck away to the restroom, I reflected on how dynamic our dinner had been at the Swedish farm-to-table restaurant the night before. (We had laughed to the point of tears that night. I had asked the waiter to take a photo of us. Little did I know, I had left my ten-second timer on and now we were all forced into a gloriously awkward standstill as we held our smiles and the patient waiter stood as still as possible as the seconds audibly ticked by. The tension was more than any of us could handle, and, one by one, we began to burst into laughter.)
The weekend was more than half over now, but my creative cup was full. I was satiated. Abuzz. Well. It was the type of contentment that only comes from soul nourishment, and that’s when I realized something – the internal resonance I was experiencing was not merely a result of the top-tier pizza crust. I had to give credit to the truth I had recognized that weekend: Whether they knew it or not, this group of friends were some of my most supportive Creative Hype Women.
Photo by Chris Murray
The Right Inner Circle Draws Out Our Inner Glow
Building a creative life means that even the nanoscopic moments of our day bleed into our creative process and, unsurprisingly, the way we express. This means that the people we welcome into our lives have an impact on more than just our levels of relational joy. Our inner circle affects our sense of belonging – to our deepest selves, to our personal faith, to our communities.
As Dr. Gabor Maté describes it, we are “biopsychosocial” in nature. The quality of our support systems can affect the quality of the energy we harness, and the energy we inhabit is what fuels our identity structures. Our friends can nurture our internal environment and thereby bolster how deeply we are able to stay connected with ourselves.
On a subconscious level, who we see ourselves to be directly impacts what we dare to create (and how we approach creating it). The more we trust ourselves, the more we can pair our intuition with complimentary action. In other words, how our closest companions relate to us can make or break us. They play a substantial role in our creativity. Their presence can influence our willingness to access our depth, our courage to try something new, our capacity to receive resources, and even our sense of conviction.
Photo by Omar Lopez
Creative Hype Women Diaries - Part 2
We had ordered a few extra sides of warm truffle honey. I was in the middle of dipping a slice of that perfectly crafted gluten-free pizza when I recognized how peaceful my body felt. I didn’t have to think about who I was or what I was going to say in the company of these women. I wasn’t holding my tongue, nor careful with my word. Being quiet was enough, though, too – because nothing less, nor more, was expected of me.
At brunch earlier that day, I had paused while sharing exciting updates about my writing career, and it wasn’t because I didn’t feel safe or held. I pulled back because it had been a long time since I had taken up space in that way. That’s when my friend gently reminded me that she really wanted to hear about what was happening in my life. “We care,” she said. It was that simple.
I was in the best shape of my life – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually – and I authentically desired to share it. In that moment, one of my Creative Hype Women reoriented my perspective. I anchored back into my worth and let myself open to be celebrated in my glow.
Photo by Unsplash Creators
Sometimes We Need to Make Moves in Silence, Sometimes We Lean on Our Crew, & Sometimes We Blend Both
Often, we infuse the caution (or burden) we picked up from past circumstances into the beauty of now. Even when we’ve carved a new neural pathway in this arena plenty of times before, we can revert to past behaviours and ways of communicating that no longer serve us. It is a revolutionary act to show ourselves compassion in these moments, and self-compassion provides the space for us to get curious.
As creatives, there are seasons where it is appropriate to submit to the luscious cocoon of solitude, to pour into ourselves, and to get to know ourselves a little more intimately. These phases can allow us to harness the grace associated with the “moving in silence” approach. They give us an opportunity to self-validate, build internal momentum, and take action without running our decisions through anyone else’s lens.
There are also chapters where it is more resonant for us to surround ourselves with other powerful humans who are capable of strengthening, animating, and amplifying us. The most sustainable fuel for our creative journey calls for a unique blend of both ingredients – a sweet mix of both intra and interconnectivity.
Photo by Sindy Sussengut
Creative Hype Women Diaries - Part 3
Eight weeks before we planned the girls’ weekend, I took life by the reigns. My sense of conviction was so palpable it reminded me of the clichéd turning point in a movie where the protagonist prepares to surmount their greatest feat yet.
I had been devoted to years of mentorships, creative entrepreneurship, and body-based transformational work, but I knew it was time for me to pour into myself in a really grounded way – to give myself the space and discipline required to live my most fulfilling life.
This next chapter represented more to me than a phase of intentional integration; it was time to magnify my creative vitality. I was devoted to this mission. I began fiercely refining my life, prioritizing my goals, following my intuition, studying a new language, showing up powerfully for my workouts, creating every day, cleaning out anything and everything that no longer aligned, closing loops, dressing well, getting facials, prioritizing my relationship with prayer, and becoming financially empowered.
I was fully living for the first time in a long time. I was experiencing momentum and liberation.
The secret sauce I didn’t realize I was ready for more of? Enlivening bouts of quality time with friends who leave me feeling full.
Photo by Kinga Howard
So Which Folks Make the Cut?
The short answer is simple: the ones our bodies trust.
The full picture is much more nuanced. We need to learn the difference between the folks who help to refine our voices and those who diminish our creative expression. When we feel the gravitational pull to share, it’s helpful to take note of who tends to foster our creative confidence, and who attempts to shut us down.
There are people who artfully (or perhaps naturally) praise our uniqueness. These folks tend to see us more clearly than others can, and they soften our edges just enough for us to feel safe to be all of us – to be truthful and tactful, or messy and a little chaotic. They are able to witness us without taking it on, and without projecting their own fears. They desire for us to bring our wholeness to the table, but they will not stand to see us shrink. They want the truth, but they don’t pry. How are we feeling – really? How is our heart today? Are we thriving, or are we pretending?
Our Creative Hype Women aren’t perfect, but they do not lead with judgment. They aim to balance their high standards for us and encourage us to be more kind to ourselves. They also expect to be treated with reverence in return. They are not afraid to disagree or challenge us, but they aren’t aiming to bring us down either. They genuinely care about us (not simply for what we can offer them), and we can feel it.
In a world where many of us are aware of the pathologies others can carry, we must learn how to be discerning while remaining open. To trust another, we must also develop an anchor point within ourselves. When we desire for someone to be a part of our Creative Hype Crew, we get to ensure we are adequately showing up to be a part of theirs as well. (Just as creative inspiration pours in and pours out, so does the reciprocity of ‘creative encouragement’.)
Photo by Alyssa Strohmann
6 Inquiries to Make When Contemplating Your Creative Hype Crew:
●How can I actively support the expression of others in my realm?
●Who do I trust? Am I willing to consider their reflections?
●When do I feel the most open and free to express? Who am I usually around when I feel this way? Who do I love to share time, ideas, and celebrations with?
●Who has a distinctive voice & creative path of their own?
●Who leaves me feeling belittled or small? Is there a way I can safely share this with them to improve the communication in our relationship, or is it time to re-evaluate the relationship?
●What are some ways I can create a deeper level of trust within myself?
Photo by Julia Peretiatko
Creative Hype Women Diaries - Part 4
As the perfect cocktail of neurotransmitters ran through my body (I suspect dopamine, serotonin, even oxytocin, and endorphins to be the welcomed culprits), I wiped the remaining truffle oil from my fingers.
My napkin was soaked, but my confidence was amplified. This weekend had served as a powerful catalyst for my expression. I felt secure and supported, challenged and seen, and yet I was able to ‘simply be’ without expectation of performance or perfection. I could rest in the authentic expression of me, and, in turn, receive my friends exactly as they were.
This was the type of relational medicine I had once known so well, but I had almost forgotten how potent it was. I no longer yearned for the type of gatherings that only looked good. I wanted the real deal – the type of bonding that felt healthy.
After a season of making plenty of moves behind the scenes, it was time for me to turn towards the Creative Hype Women in my life, and this weekend provided remarkable reinforcement for me to do that.
Photo By
The Cherry on Top: Exploring with Our Friends Literally Lights up Our Brain
Contrary to popular belief, most successful artists are able to *skillfully* use both sides of their brain – not just their right side.
Between making collaborative decisions, having dynamic conversations, revisiting old memories, inspiring one another to engage in novel activities, enjoying the pleasure of delicious foods, and venturing out of our comfort zones… getting together with a group of friends is one of the best ways to recruit multiple brain networks.
The dynamics within any size of friend group are nuanced, complex, and enlivening. Over the course of a weekend, the full spectrum of emotions can arise, motivating us to use our time together as an opportunity to practice our emotional intelligence.
On top of gathering inspirational gold, spending time with an uplifting crew of folks provides our bodies and minds with a wellspring of unique stimulus we can take home to pour into our creativity.
Ultimately, our inner fire – our creative vitality – is stoked beyond measure.
In this light, who we surround ourselves with has a profound effect on who we are… and I can’t think of a more powerful Creative Asset than that.
-Casey Balon, Editor-in-Chief of The Vital Creative
